Pajamazon Dot Com

I don’t usually address politics, and this is way off subject from my usual themes, but I’ll vent about it anyway a little, with a hopefully humorous tongue in cheek approach. Andy Rooney “rises again”…

It is commonly believed that in the United States there are two major political parties. But I would contend that there are actually three: the Democratic Party, the Republican Party, and the Pajama Party.

I would also offer that the third party, the Pajama Party, may be the most influential among all of them. Why might this be so? Well, let’s take a look at the characteristics of the average official, certifiable and certified, card-carrying Pajama Party Animal. What traits do these individuals share?

But first of all, let’s get something perfectly clear here. As a recovering Pajamaholic, I unabashedly confess that I was once a staunch member of the Pajama Party, So I do not speak in terms of an outsider on this matter, but from the insider perspective of someone who no longer has pajamazon and is therefore no longer an affiliate of Pajamazon Dot Com. But having been caught with pants down once too often, it was no longer expedient to be a member of the Pajama Party, once I woke up and smelled the coffee. And I’m being told that if I don’t have pajamazon, I better be looking for ways to cover my backside, because baby, it’s cold out there! 

Are you pickin’ up what I’m layin’ down here? So whether you are or aren’t, I double dare you to read on.

My “close encounters” with the dark side aside, let us now approach the peculiar and scary characteristics of the Pajama Party Animal. The individuals in question, first of all come in all sizes, shapes, colors, creeds, sexes, sexual preferences, or no sex at all [sorry I couldn’t resist throwing that in]. That last one – no sex at all – means they’re neuter, uh, rather neutral that is, luke warm on every issue – they just don’t care a fig about much of anything. Unless it’s fun, footloose and fancy free, and “on the house” [or the senate, or on the floor… somebody stop me!] 

The Pajama Party Animal will somewhat resemble humans and in many cases are dead ringers for the species. Please do not, however, confuse some of them with Bigfoot, although they often display the peculiar tendency to be running around where they shouldn’t be all night – that is if they’re awake. Or they may sleep walk. No one knows for sure since they are regarded as too dangerous to approach for field research when found in this zombie-like state.

Many Homo-Pajamazonians, their official scientific designation [as in Homo Sapiens, OK? Don’t go thinking I’ve gone homophobic on you here, please!] confound onlookers by appearing with pajamazon in busy public places during the day. It’s a fashion trend, you know – not bothering to get dressed. And it sure saves time at the beginning or end of the day – whatever time that means. Blurry-eyed and dull-witted, with pajamazon but covered by a plaid jacket, they stand in line at the Super Wal-mart check-out with shopping carts full of white bread, chips, beer, and GMO processed foods. Their hair is often disheveled, and their bedroom slippers covering sagging socks are uncomplimentary in color to their polkadot pajamas. Frequently it is difficult to distinguish their gender. Whatever…

However, some H-Ps, as they are dis-affectionately referred to in scientific circles, show a remarkable likeness to average Humans, and look a lot like squeaky-clean, pressed and polished Yuppies in beige running shorts and white polo shirts. [These are the ones you really have to watch out for because they are actually shape shifters with the ability to make you think they’re awake and aware when they’re not!] 

Yet all H-P’s – make no mistake about it – share the common characteristic of being asleep as regarding many of the facts regarding “Civics” and how the government is supposed to work [small, non-intrusive, and as servants of the tax-payer], American History, the banking elite, the industrial-military complex, the Federal Reserve, the importance of the Constitution, the Bill of Rights, chemtrails, GMO foods, fluoride in the water, vaccines, and what the 11th hour really looks like. They don’t notice their pockets being picked to bail out the “too big to fail” or the “too small to matter” – all to garner support and funding to remain in power. Many think that the Pre-amble to the Constitution means teetering hung over on the edge of your bed after a Pajama Party before you amble down to the bathroom for a morning constitutional or to throw up! They display a mindless neutrality on clear “thou shalt not kill” issues like the holocausts of bloody war and abortion on demand. Yea, whatever…

Curiously, some Pajama Party Animals also claim to be Democrats or Republicans. Wow! They may be bi-partisan, crossing party lines. Their shape shifting, dis-loyal, self-serving natures go with whoever keeps the good times rolling – according to their taste, just as long as they aren’t bothered by the change that has come, they will always have hope that nobody will ask them to do anything by or for themselves. Their big interest is self-interest and the date of the next Pajama Party.

Being true Pajama Party Animals they care for little more than all nighters at someone else’s house, at someone else’s expense, and consuming someone else’s food and drink. They do what they do best at night, under cover of darkness. As long as the status quo – “Pajama Party Time” – is maintained, they are quite content to be apathetic.

As to religious preference, frequently they are found worshipping at the temple of the god MemyselfandI, supreme lord of destruction. What knowledge of power he imparts! I know “The Secret” of how to get what I want when I want it. I can move the Universe. Oh well, it’s freedom of religion we have here, right? The Great Experiment.

One thing’s for certain, they will never watch your back, and very possibly may stab it, at the right opportunity. Their prime directive? Seek to only cover only your own backside. Hey, that’s what pajamas are for no doubt. Whatever… who cares?

This is why the Pajama Party is the most influential party there is – because everybody in it is either dead drunk or asleep, and many of them are difficult to identify – especially to themselves. 

Such apathy “elects” tyrants by default, because Pajama Party Animals just don’t care. And Pajama Party Animals easily allow the wool to be pulled over their eyes, and hope no one else can see. Oh well, we’ve gone through hard times before, they say, so we’ll get through this. I’m an American. I love being an American. According to whose definition?

The real question is, do you still have your pajamazon? Hello, are you awake? There you go again, hitting that snooze button. Shame on you…



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