Here are some practical realizations I’ve connected with of late. They’re so valuable and helpful to me that I thought I’d pass them along.
Instead of using the phrase, “I’ll do everything possible,” learn instead to respond realistically to requests by saying, “I’ll do what I can.”
Notice the difference. With the former you’re playing God. “Everything possible”? Seriously? Get real.
The latter puts you in touch with your reality, reasonable limitations, and especially personal boundaries that you really don’t want trespassed, although you may not have considered it from that perspective before.
That along with “Let me think about that for awhile, and I’ll get back to you with MY decision…” can save tons of misunderstanding, not to mention taking on “”stuff” that isn’t yours. If you’re honest, you’ll think about things more deeply and patiently, thus avoiding being overrun by others’ judgments or by the occasional cunning opportunist or boundary crasher.
The kinds of messages we send to ourselves, to others, and to the universe in general are important – so that we’re not perceived as an easy target or a door mat, or someone who’s easily guilt tripped.
We don’t have to be forceful or rude. It’s a matter of stating your facts gently and standing by them.
It doesn’t mean you’re unloving or selfish. It just means you’re connecting with and accepting your reality and your truth, and keeping your boundaries more firmly.
There are innovative ways we can say, “That’s my story and I’m sticking with it.”